Struggling Back

 

Yoda (Photo credit: davidyuweb)

 

As I fight my way back from what was becoming a paralyzing mixed episode while house hunting, packing and moving (in the process I had my old sick cat put down and gave another away to the Animal Shelter which means almost certain doom), I find that being on the very edge is definitely not a place I ever want to be again. By all rights, I should have been in the hospital. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t really eat (whenever I tried my throat would not let me swallow), I was suicidal, however I had no time to be any of those things that so commonly land a Bipolar in the hospital. I was fighting tooth and nail to remain sane, or at least, a semblance of sane. Because I wasn’t really. I had gone mad, the meds were not working, nothing was working. I was getting mentally and physically exhausted. I have not had the time to mourn my pets who were probably my closest “friends.” I have a husband who has no sympathy or understanding for what I did. My ex fiance and a long time friend of mine had more sympathy and understanding of the pain. That isn’t right, and does make me question whether my husband has some form of attachment disorder or something. I have never met anyone who does not have sympathy for a person who has lost a pet. Any way, to close on a more positive note, I found this quote this morning in one of my too many books:

 

“Try not. Do or do not, there is no try” ~ Yoda, from The Empire Strikes Back