Introvert vs. Extrovert ~ Several Common Myths

I am an introvert that can be an extrovert if it is absolutely, positively necessary. I tend to spend my time reading, writing, exploring the ideas that pop into my brain to see if they have popped into anyone else’s; in other words, I live my life predominantly in my mind. I draw energy and strength from a few friends and from being alone with my thoughts. An extrovert, on the other hand, is more oriented toward people and the outside world. They tend to be outgoing, responsive, active, and quick to make a decision. These are paraphrases of Jung’s basic personality types. So, what has prompted this post is a book I am reading that my Father sent me entitled Quiet written by Susan Cain. It is an absolutely fascinating look at the two basic types of introvert and extrovert. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in the psychology of personality and temperament. Anyway, I ran across an article on Psychcentral.com on myths surrounding these two basic types of people. The article was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., and states that many myths abound regarding the introvert and the extrovert. The introvert is seen as not liking people, the extrovert as shallow. The introvert is viewed as snobby or stuck-up, the extrovert are apparently terrible listeners. The list does go on. 

So what are the facts about these two archetypes? At it’s absolute core, the difference is that introverts are stimulated by ideas and inner reflection whereas an extrovert gets their energy from groups of people and other external stimuli. In her book, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D also notes that introverts tend to have busier brains than extroverts. What are some common myths about each of these types of people:

1. Introverts are shy. While there may be shy introverts, introversion is not synonymous with shyness. As Susan Cain writes in Quiet: “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.”
2. Introverts do not make good public speakers. There are certainly introverts out there for whom public speaking is something to be feared (I am one of them), however, if properly prepared and having practiced their dialogue, many introverts make excellent public speakers.
3. Introverts are not happy & extroverts are happier. I can answer that one all by myself. I am a very happy little introverted person who is perfectly content to talk with someone one to one, read a book, write, or just think. I personally know people who are extroverts who are unhappy because they are just inherently unhappy people or one of their quick decisions has bitten them back. The two personality types are just happy in different ways, and different things make them happy. My Father, knowing I like to read a lot, sent me Quiet completely out of the blue. I was stunned first, but then I was really happy that he remembered that about me. 
4. You are either an introvert or an extrovert. Everyone is on a continuum with introversion at one end and extroversion at the other; most people fall in the middle. As Jung felicitously put it, ‘There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.’”
5. Extroverts are bad listeners. Not true. Extroverts can be excellent listeners using open ended questions, and statements such as “Tell me more about that”. Extroverts are also able to develop rapport with others and know how to make people comfortable.
6. Extroverts do not like quiet time or time alone. Not true at all. Extroverts do need this type of time to recharge. But they need it in “shorter doses and in different ways than introverts.
7. Extroverts are shallow. The truth is once again the two types process information differently. Extroverts tend to explore and collect ideas and information through speaking with groups of people at length.

The main conclusion the author of Quiet keeps coming around to is this: Whatever type you lean toward, embrace it and feel entitled to be yourself.

Portions Of Blog Post This Morning By Bradley On Coming Out With Mental Illness ~ Got My Brain Going (Again)

From Bradley’s post:

“Coming out of the mental health closet was also difficult. I tried to hide it from all but my closest friends and family. I did feel shame. I didn’t want to appear lazy when depressed or crazy when manic. Eventually, I did choose to come out as a man with bipolar disorder for the same reason I came out as a gay man. It was time to be who I am.

A study published by The National Center for Biotechnology Information, a branch of the National Institute of Health, determined that coming out of the mental health closet is similar to coming out as a person who is gay. The report emphasized they were not suggesting that homosexuality is a form of mental illness, rather, the public stigma and the personal stigma of each have similar qualities. For example, gay men and lesbians are not recognized by others unless they somehow choose to identify themselves as such. Similarly, most people with serious mental illness are not obvious unless they discuss their illness or mental health history.

From the study:

• This kind of hidden identity may protect the person opting to remain in the closet, i.e., deciding not to let others know of one’s mental health history. People who come out about their mental illnesses may expose themselves to additional discrimination and social disapproval. Research suggests however, that people who are out about their condition often report benefits. Studies on the gay community, for example, identified benefits including less stress from having to no longer keep the secret……

If you have decided to be open about your mental illness, there are some important points to consider.

•  Most important is to accept yourself. If you are not fully comfortable with your illness then you’ll probably want to confide in no one except your closest friends or family. Remember, once you tell people you have a mental illness, you cannot take it back. Unlike your local paper, you cannot print a retraction.
• Coming out is not a one-time deal. It is a lifetime process. When you make new friends or get a new job, you will need to decide, once again, who to confide in.
• Prepare Yourself. Start with a list of the most significant people in your life to help you decide who to come out to. Perhaps you’re prepared to tell everyone, or, only your family, or, only your friends. What about your job? Do you work in an environment that will be supportive or could it have a negative impact? If you are unsure, then it’s probably best not to tell your boss or co-workers.”

 

This post got me thinking about the process of “coming out” about your own mental illness. We have all seen the celebrities like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jane Pauley (I believe) come out about their own diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder, and as public figures, the news made the tabloids, the celebrity watch magazines, and even People magazines. Most people are not going to have so dramatic an experience as they can choose who to tell, and who they would prefer not to know such as employers or co-workers.

As the quote above suggests from the study done my The National Center for Biotechnology Information (a branch of the NIH): “This kind of hidden identity may protect the person opting to remain in the closet….Research suggests however, that people are out about their condition often report benefits. Studies on the gay community, for example, identified benefits including less stress from having to no longer keep the secret…”

I know that, initially, I felt like a Mack truck had hit me. I was first diagnosed as a Bipolar Type II which is a little kinder and gentler than a diagnosis of Bipolar Type I with Psychotic Features which is my current diagnosis. I was okay with the Bipolar II diagnosis because, me being me, I immediately began researching the idea of the “Bipolar Spectrum”. I cannot battle that which I do not understand. I came to a certain peace with the Type II diagnosis. Then, I got “upgraded” to Bipolar Type I with Psychotic Features. That was when the Mack truck plowed straight into my world. I was shattered, I was broken beyond repair; I mean how do you swallow the pill of “with Psychotic Features”. When one thinks of psychosis, many people think of homeless people talking to themselves, or schizophrenics (the most widely know psychotic illness). However, upon doing yet more research, I began to understand why the tag had been added to the Bipolar I diagnosis. I hear things such as TV’s, radios, people talking; none of these things are real, they are auditory hallucination. I also have a propensity for being paranoid which is another psychotic feature.

It took me about 4 years to accept that my life was forever changed, I had not only been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, but PTSD, Panic disorder with and without Agoraphobia, and adult ADD (just to add a little icing to my already bouncy brain). It was a lot to absorb. It was nice to know there were reasons for the way I felt, the things I heard and had been hearing since I was a child (I just didn’t tell anyone), that there was treatment available (it took forever to stabilize me). At some point, I became comfortable with the fact that my childhood and teenage depression had morphed into something much more serious, and I began telling people that I recognized as Bipolar as well that I also had Bipolar disorder. I do recognize other Bipolars when I meet them. There is something about this illness that if you just take the time to observe, you will see bits of yourself in another even though manifestation of the illness is different for everyone.

Once I had accepted that this was going to be my life, I felt a very strong urge to tell others; to make them understand that I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t “moody”, that there was an underlying medical problem with my brain chemistry that I could manage with therapy and medication, but that I would never be able to control. That, by the way, is a very important point. One can never say they have Bipolar under control. One can be in remission, partial remission, etc, but that does not mean you are well. Bipolar can and will come up and bite you on the ass no matter how finely tweaked you are.

Coming out for me was a very natural organic experience. It just happened without any pomp and circumstance. I made no conscious decision to talk about it; I just began dialogues with people with the goal of educating both them and myself. Since, I have always known who and what I am, once I was stabilized on anti-psychotics, and I have a tendency to be too honest sometimes, the words just began to pour out to anyone and everyone. I do not work, but that is one place where I would have to seriously have to consider talking about it. 

Bradley makes some very good points some of which are outlined above to consider when contemplating coming out. It is a deeply personal decision, and a frightening one due to the social stigma surrounding mental health. I just decided if I was going to be true to myself, and hopefully educate some people in the process, that I was going to talk about it without fear of stigma or judgment because I believe open and honest dialogue is vital to changing the image that mental illness has. The following statistics suggest it is much more common than most people think.

Constantly Questioning ~ New Question About The Idea Of Being "Disabled"

This is another question that came to mind this morning (too much coffee mixed with Adderall 🙂 ) How much of a person’s disability are either mental disorders or developmental disorders, and how much of it is because society has told a person that they are “disabled”?

This weekend I had the privilege of meeting a young woman who has certain physical challenges, and, I think also some mental challenges. She just graduated from a private school here, and intends to start college this Fall semester with the goal of becoming a 5th grade teacher. She is clearly “disabled” or “challenged,” if you prefer, but she has a strength of will and a determination to become a teacher that I have not seen before in a “disabled” or “challenged” person.

I was thinking of her as I looked into the mirror while drying my hair, and it occurred to me that “disabled” is a social construct, and maybe, not so much a reality. I do not look disabled as all of my challenges come in the form of Affective disorders, Anxiety disorders, and one learning disorder (Adult ADD). I do not have developmental disabilities. I do not have anything that makes me look different than anyone else. If you were to meet me on the street, or in a class, the only way you would  know that I struggle daily with a host of mental problems would be to talk to me at length. Then, I may come across as different or weird due to A) being wired “backwards” (ADD ~ Can mimic a manic phase) and B) I am insatiably curious about everything or C) if I am waiting at a bus stop, I generally have ear plugs in to deter people from talking to me, but it also cuts down on the stimulation I get. I am an introverted personality, and I do not really need the adulation of the crowd. That overwhelms me.

So, does Bipolar Type I with psychotic tendencies, PTSD, Panic disorder with Agoraphobia, ADD, and having an avoidant personality make me disabled? I know to a certain extent that the lability of my emotional state can cause problems with friends, co-workers, bosses, etc. If you don’t like my mood, wait a few minutes, and it will change. I know that PTSD interferes with my life in that I am hyper-vigilant, overly aware of who is near me (I can “feel” a person behind me up to 70 feet even when plugged in), I have recurring nightmares though not so much anymore, I can relive the event that led to the diagnosis in both the third and the first person, and I have fear reactions to people who resemble my attacker (I was 16 and about 3 months). The Panic disorder with Agoraphobia thankfully seems to have abated somewhat, but I still periodically can’t mentally make myself leave my apartment, and if I try, bad things happen. ADD is just added fun to the mania of Bipolar. Mania makes my brain bounce, and the ADD joins in just for fun. So, yes, based on those diagnoses and symptoms make life very challenging, and since I am usually in a “mixed” episode ~ equally manic and depressed at the same time, I frequently get “stuck” as I am the most motivated depressed person, and the most depressed manic person. Nothing gets completely done; does that make me disabled in the workforce? I think so due to the fact I have a hard time accomplishing anything completely and on-time. Agoraphobia is just like icing on the cake as is the avoidant personality problem.

However, every time I visit my psychiatrist, I am noted to be “well groomed”, which is opposed to disheveled, I suppose. I have to be really deep down the Rabbit Hole to go out without at least clean hair, and screw the rest. But, I am a girly girl, and I like my nail polish, jewelry and make-up. So, even when I do not feel well, it is very hard to tell unless you know me intimately, or I tell you, or I just break down for no reason. So, we have visited the physiological and the psychological aspects of being “disabled” (another word I dislike). Moving along to the social notions of disability.

Here’s where I get a little bit confused. Yes, I do have markedly impaired social and functioning skills. But, how much have I bought into being told by doctors and other mental health worker’s and society (including family and friends) that I am disabled? How much of my personality has become tied up in what Sociologists call the “sick role”? In other words, am I disabled because I have some very challenging mental problems, or is it because I have these mental issues that society itself has labeled me disabled?  These are questions I just do not have the answers to. When interacting with people especially over a long period of time, they come to the conclusion that I am weird, that my thoughts are not “normal” (whatever that is; although daily thoughts of suicide probably are not normal), that I am somehow different than they are.

I guess it is because I am up for medical review of my disability benefits that these questions have popped up. I have not been reviewed in more than 7 years which according to the Social Security Administration is the cycle for people not expected to improve past a certain point, or the duration of the illness is greater than 12 months or can be expected to end in death. Bipolar disorder is one of the deadliest of the “severe” psychiatric disorders probably for it’s high rate of completed suicides. Therefore, I wonder if I am disabled because I have several different types of mental disorders, or because the doctors, the government, and society tells me that I am. Because I am damn good at hiding it 🙂 

And here’s an interesting story that aired on 60 minutes regarding the Social Security Disability program: http://www.pogo.org/blog/2013/10/60-minutes-takes-down-disability-benefits-did-they-get-the-story-right.html

What do you think: truly disabled, or disabled because our society tells people they are?

Well As I Seem To Be Headed Down The Rabbit Hole…..Again

I don’t know if I have posted this before, I may have a long time ago, but as I feel that I am off to tea with the Mad Hatter and The Red Queen has most definitely lost her head, I thought it might be appropriate. So, much for stable madness….I am moving towards the unstable madness. My SSDI is being reviewed, and being the “optimist” that I am, I am certain they are going to take it away. Hence, the deepening depression, and the falling down the Rabbit Hole. Here’s Jefferson Airplane’s take on the matter of tea, oh, and always beware of the Frumious Bandersnatch:

 

 

The NMIH Study Is Fascinating

Apparently, the study lasted 7 years and included more than 3,000 people with Bipolar disorder in addition to co-morbid disorders which no other study had ever done. All other studies had focused on Bipolar exclusively which did not give a really good “real” life cross section of people with Bipolar disorder as it commonly occurs with other disorders like PTSD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, etc. 

Even with the amount of research that I have done over the years on Bipolar disorder among others, I am learning quite a bit about treatment outcomes. They had groups who received no psychosocial intervention, groups who received one of four different types of therapy, and all groups were on some form of mood stabilizing medication. The groups with the best outcomes were those who received intensive therapy (3 times per month over a 9 month period) and were on mood stabilizing medications. Which is no real surprise to me, however, for clinicians planning treatment plans for their bipolar patients, this study could be of real help. 

Even if you are currently relatively stable on your treatment plan, this study is really interesting, and there are links to other studies, as well. Since, I want to know all that I can about how to remain symptom “free” (not likely), I would highly recommend reading this for your own edification.

Link ~ Interesting Long Term NMIH Study On Bipolar Disorder

It’s just a link to a study I came across this afternoon, but what I have read of it is very interesting. It is the longest term study on Bipolar Disorder and treatments to date.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/funding/clinical-trials-for-researchers/practical/step-bd

Steppenwolf ~ The Pusher

I wish you could stick posts in between each other…..this one really belongs with another post I wrote about my near death experience with substance abuse/self-medication. It also happens to be from one of my favorite movies of all time: “Easy Rider”

 

Question ~ Why Is It Okay To Be Physically Disabled But Not Mentally?

This has bothered me for a long time. Why is it “okay” to have a physical disability or illness, but if your disability or illness is mental, people react differently? In other words, why is there so much stigma attached to being mentally challenged due to organic illness? People do not have a problem if you have a heart condition, diabetes, asthma, even cancer. But, tell them you suffer from depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and people look at you sideways. People who suffer from physical illnesses frequently suffer from depression as well, but that still isn’t looked at the same way as depression on its own.

Mental Illness ~ The Invisible Illness

People suffering from the more severe psychiatric disorders are looked at even more sideways then people with depression. Especially, the schizoid disorders. Is it because people are afraid that others with these more severe diagnoses are behaviorally unstable, and people are afraid of us and what we may do to them? In my experience, most of us just want to be left alone to live our lives as best we can. I mean, what is the difference between using an asthma inhaler to control asthma, and taking a mood stabilizer or other class of psychiatric drug in order to manage a mental issue? The fact is those of us suffering from mental disorder, for the most part, take those medications because we want to manage our illnesses and to increase the quality of our lives.

He, Boyd, was turning to leave.

Where I live, it seems the police have declared open season on the mentally ill. We have one incident recently that may have made the national news (I do not know), but it certainly burned up people’s ears here. The man in question was an unmedicated (as many are) homeless schizophrenic who decided to camp out for the night in the foothills of the mountains east of the city. I, as are many people who live here, am unclear on how the police entered the situation. There are a fair number of “high-end” neighborhoods in the foothills, so it could have been someone who lives up there who saw the man in his ragged clothing, and freaked out and called police. I do not know. What is known is extraordinarily sad. There was some type of confrontation (the police are claiming he had drawn a knife on them; they have Glocks and Sig Sauers, what is a knife going to do? You have to get really close to use a knife), but the lapel cameras show there is some type of interchange between the man and the 9 or 10 police including SWAT members. The next thing the lapel cameras show is the man turning around and starting to walk away. That is the moment the police opened fire. When he was leaving the situation. The autopsy came back that the man who had done nothing wrong but be schizophrenic and camping outside (as was probably usual) in the wrong place had been shot in the back and the back of both arms. He was killed instantly. The public outcry was deafening. And this is merely one example of our police department shooting and killing someone with a mental disturbance. And, from what I can tell, they fire when people are leaving the situation, or are trying to get away from them, or my personal favorite, talking on a cell phone which our esteemed police department took to be a weapon, and killed a kid talking to his mother on his cell phone. I do not remember what his diagnosis was, but his mother got to hear the police kill her son. These things do not happen to people who are physically ill or disabled. 

I have a friend who is currently medically disabled who made an interesting comment to me the other day. He said that it is easier to get state assistance if you have a mental diagnosis than a medical one. He suffers from chronic, and I do mean chronic, depression, but he is unwilling to be diagnosed in order to get benefits he has earned through working because of the recent attitude of not only our police department, but society in general’s outlook on the mentally ill. I have news for people. Most of the mass shootings were not committed by people with lifelong mental problems, but people who are suffering situational mental difficulty or have a very strong belief in an antisocial ideology. It isn’t the Bipolar’s in manic episodes, it isn’t the schizophrenics of the world, and it isn’t the chronic depressives that are doing these things. It is people who have recently experienced a stressor like job loss, divorce, separation, etc. who also tend to hold to an antisocial ideology. It is the stressor that is key. I mean, honestly, I was depressed in high school, and yes, I did have fantasies of blowing up my school, but I, like many people like I was, didn’t do it because it was the wrong thing to do. 

Timothy McVeigh was not mentally ill, but he did hold anti-government ideologies

I think, and this is just my opinion, that one of the main reasons that people do have a fear of the mentally disordered is because when one of these mass shootings, or other violent act (the blowing up of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City, for example),the media will instantly latch onto any, no matter how slight, inference of mental illness in the party committing the crime. Through this slight inference, many people come to believe that a person with say Bipolar disorder is a ticking time bomb and is likely to go off at the least provocation. Not true of most of us. We are just trying to get along as the homeless, the disenfranchised and the poor of our society. There are times when I wish that all I had to worry about was my blood pressure (not to make light; just to make a point). I would be less likely to be arrested or killed if I were medically ill.

Very Short Rant And, In My Mind, Completely Justified

Since when is it okay to use your wedding photos with the ex-wife photo-shopped out on an online dating site, or two or three. I mean, who the fuck does that kind of shit!

It All Started At Birth ~ Rehab

It got a little painful writing my life’s story and the events that led me to become a very serious substance abuser.  I was trying to mask the feelings I had after being assaulted by my “boyfriend” at the age of barely 16. I did not know at the time that I had developed PTSD, and was verging on having what had been Chronic Depression become full blown Bipolar disorder. I just know that I felt dead inside while at the same time experiencing psychological pain that even years later seemed to much to bear. So, for about six years, I was a “what have you got” type of drug abuser until settling on morphine, cocaine, meth, and crack as the way to deal with my experience. However, all “good” things must come to an end. Sometimes an end that nearly kills you.

I quit doing all drugs (pills, morphine, cocaine, crack, meth) cold turkey. I did not know then that quitting benzodiazepines without stepping down in dosage over a period of time was incredibly dangerous and stupid. But, I would exactly call my behavior at the time intelligent, so it stands to reason that I would not know this little tidbit of information. So, I quit cold turkey; just stopped taking all the medications and street drugs. About five days later, I woke up to go to work, and I was hallucinating. I did not connect it with my brain basically short circuiting due to lack of the benzos that I took by the handful. After about two or three hours, I was feeling sort of okay, but not really. I had stopped hallucinating but the world around me was surreal. Cellophane flowers towering over my head type of surreal. I made it through the workday. I do not have any clue how, but I did it. Around 5:00 pm, I started feeling very weird again, and very, very sleepy. I was at the front desk, and I rested my head on my arms and closed my eyes. I became immediately unconscious. I remember something about that scared the living hell out of me; maybe it was the fact that my eyes were literally jiggling like being in REM sleep but much faster. I came to in a matter of seconds, and went home where my roommates had cleaned the apartment of all drugs. I do not remember going into a Grand Mal seizure. All I remember is washing my face to go to bed, and closing my eyes to wash the soap off my face. I woke up on the floor completely covered in water, and not knowing how I had gotten there or why I was all wet. I had been very fortunate in that I had a friend with me at the time, and he had seen me go into the seizure. I hit my head pretty hard on a small table that was in the bathroom, and my friend was calling my mother to let her know he was going to take me to the hospital. I refused still not really realizing what was happening.

I went to my mother’s house instead where she tried fervently to get me to go to the emergency room. I refused until I closed my eyes again and the jiggling returned. By now, I was starting to become scared so I agreed to go to the ER. Because I had hit my head pretty hard on the way down at my apartment, the ER doctors ordered a CAT scan. In the tube, I once again closed my eyes. I was exhausted. The jiggling returned immediately. I tried so hard to keep my eyes open. I was put into the observation ward just off the ER, and within minutes was unconscious and having another seizure. The last thing I can recall from that night was a bunch of faceless people standing around me asking if it would be okay to put Valium in my IV. I remember thinking why did I have an IV, and answering that yes, putting Valium in the IV was fine. I was out for the rest of the next 6 hours, and awoke very groggy (I have no idea how much Valium the doctors gave me), but feeling somewhat better. I found a nurse that hung my IV on a rolling stand and wheeled me out to the ambulance bay to smoke. Very cool nurse. I fell back asleep when I got back to my bed, and awoke to find my primary care doctor and mother standing over me. My doctor was saying something about going to a rehabilitation center that had a bed for me, and were awaiting my arrival should I choose to go. I chose to go.

This was, perhaps, one of the scariest and most insane places I have ever been mentally. I had not been sober in about 4 years. Literally not a day had gone by that I was not completely high on something since I was 16, and I was now getting ready to turn 20. I do not think that I would ever like to be in that “headspace” again. I had to write the fearless and soul-searing moral inventory of myself, who I was, who I had been, who I had started out as. I had to write every nasty thing I had ever done to another human being while in the throes of my substance abuse. I even shocked myself, though I should not have been shocked. I have always been a kind of gun without a safety. The first 2 months of sobriety found me depressed, scared, unsure of everything, and begging to get high again. If I fought with my mother with whom I was living, all I could think was that just a little morphine would fix everything. All I wanted were my pills and my needles. I thought I had gone insane. But, nope, not insane, just sober and looking at the world and my place in it with an uncloudy mind and clear eyes. I made it through about 9 months of the rehab’s therapy groups until I was reassigned to one that was full of drinkers trying to get clean. I wasn’t a big drinker. I was a druggie, a junkie. I couldn’t understand their dislike of me until one night a man said to me “Well, at least what I did was legal…” Then, I figured it out. What I had done was against the law and, therefore abhorrent, but somehow being an alcoholic was okay because drinking was legal. So, I asked him how many times he drove home drunk, and how many people had he managed not to kill while driving drunk. He shut up, and I left rehab. I did relapse a couple of years later, but that is a whole different post. This was painful enough  remembering all the things I did and said specifically to hurt people so they could feel the way I did. I lost a lot of friends and I lost myself in the process.