One Of My Favorite "Break Up" Songs

~ seroquelhangover

I am still having a bit of difficulty getting my subconscious to get over my last relationship which pretty much fucked my whole self-image, and what I expect from a relationship. Now it is seeping into my conscious. Not good. I am not used to being or feeling loved. That was not what mt marriage was about. I was there to cook, clean, and ignore my husband’s little habit. Meanwhile, he thinks our divorce was mutual and blames me for having bipolar disorder which is his excuse for why it didn’t work. No, it was not my having bipolar disorder; it was his propensity for spending entire days and sometimes nights watching weird internet porn. This is a habit he continues to this day. That’s why I divorced him. He was abusive emotionally and mentally, and I am pretty sure has attachment disorder. 

So anyway, one of my favorite songs about being the rebound relationship: Everclear “Santa Monica”

8 thoughts on “One Of My Favorite "Break Up" Songs”

  1. You can be very confusing at times. First it is I was abused as a child and have Bipolar due to that, Then you got divorced because you are used to be treated with love and wasn’t. I may be very hard in my responses but I can only call them the way I see them. I can see where a therapist could have problems with you. The goal is to cure the Bi-Polar, which you are required to do by law since it is a curable mental disorder.

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    1. First off I never said I was abused as a child, at least not physically. That is not the impetus behind the Bipolar. I don’t what it is or was. Secondly, as far as I know there is no known “cure” for bipolar. Therapy is to keep you on an even keel, or work through issues like the one I alluded to in my post. HE thought we divorced due to my bipolar disorder; I divorced him because he chose internet porn over our marriage. While I am consciously aware of moving forward it is my subconscious that is having problems processing. Hence, the subconscious bleeding into the conscious and that being a bad thing. Just clarifying myself.

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      1. the sub conscious thing I know nothing about. Emotional abuse is every bit abusive as physical. It also does not have to be a parent that was guilty. So they could have been very loving to you and perhaps a friend or other family member was not.

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      5. And the mind conditioned can not always on their own without treatment ascertain intent correctly. So some can be ultra sensitive. Some may be suffering slight conditioning and Bully sounding. I would say we all have a lot of patience to exercise here. I myself have to work on my patience issue too. I also understand being wrong is not always a bad thing.

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