10 Things You Should Say To A Depressed Person

Depression

We have all seen the lists of things a person, albeit well-meaning, should never say to a depressed person. We also know that periodically experiencing crippling depression can be a symptom of a relapse into illness.Hopefully, if you have either had Bipolar disorder for a while, or are just very attuned to your mental emotional shifts, you can stop it before it happens. Here is a list of things you CAN say to a depressed person,

1. Can I relieve your stress in any way? Words have very little effect, if any, on a depressed person. In fact, they can twist them around in their minds to make themselves feel even worse. What you can do? Come over and offer to clean up their house or fix them a meal or go out and run some errands for them. These are ways of showing you care about them, and respect that they are experiencing depression. Showing through action that you care is worth all the wasted words in the world.
2. What do you think might help you to feel better? Here again words are important. Especially how you phrase them. According to Psychcentral.com‘s associate editor, Therese Borchand, it is much like dealing with a defiant child. Depressed people are well known for being difficult, as are children when you take their candy away, for example, telling them they will turn into a ghoul if they eat more. What seems to be more effective is to ask the child about something he or she did while under the influence of a sugar rush. Ask them if they want that to happen again. The answer is usually ‘no’ and they will reach for something else entirely. The same goes for a depressed person. Acknowledge their depression, and rephrase questions in such a way that they come up with their own way of feeling better.
3. Is there something I can do for you? Again we have action over words; showing the depressed person that you care about them. This is an excellent time to show compassion. The depressed individual is likely to say no, there is nothing you can do for them, but what does register through the fog and the tears is the thought “This person really cares about me”.
4. Can I drive you somewhere? Here again is action over what may come across to a depressed person as shallow words of pseudo-sympathy (been there, done that). Here is something concrete that you can do for a depressed person. Apparently, people who are depressed are really bad drivers. So, offering to drive them somewhere they need or maybe do not need to go is good for them (they get out of the house for a while and maybe get some grocery shopping done or maybe a pedicure, as my mom once did for me), it is safer for them and all the other really scary drivers out there.
5. Where are you getting your support? This is completely different than asking if they are receiving therapy or attending group meetings either in person or through an online support group. If you ask if they are receiving therapy or some type of support, and they are not, this has the implication that they are too lazy to get help (they are depressed, not lazy. It is hard to do anything in this state let alone secure support). This question is much more proactive. It says, if you are getting help, great! But, if you aren’t, let’s figure out a way that you can get support through a one on one therapist or through a group because the depressed person does need the help/support to help them through this part of their life so they do not feel isolated and one of a kind.
6. You won’t always feel this way. I am a bit ambivalent about this one. Why should I believe someone who is not nor has experienced depression that this will go away? However, it is a simple statement of fact. It doesn’t try to manipulate, it doesn’t try to persuade, and it doesn’t judge the person who is depressed. It simply states that this is not going to last forever, and that can provide that little ray of hope that a depressed person needs to continue on to the next day. Now, whether that day bring a pin-prick of light at the top of your rabbit hole or a semi-trailer bearing down on you remains to be seen.
7. Can you think of anything contributing to your depression?  This is basically a very kind and round about way of getting someone who is depressed to look at what might be causing it. It is a gentle way of saying, “Maybe it is the abusive relationship you are in,” without coming out and saying it. It could be a myriad of different things that is causing the depressed mood. This is a way of getting the person with the low mood to come to their own conclusions about the cause, and consequently, what to do to get rid of the source (we are talking about situational depression, not the kind caused by brain chemical imbalances). This allows the person suffering to come to their own conclusions about what is appropriate for them to do, take accountability for their own action, and not end up blaming someone fro advising them on a course of action that may be entirely wrong.
8. What time of day is hardest for you? This is a question that my psychiatrist and psychologist have both asked me when I have been depressed which is most of the time due to the mixed episode problem. According to Therese J. Borchard, associate editor at http://psychcentral.com/, the most acute times for depression are upon waking (realizing that it is another day, and you will most likely not be happy-go-lucky just because you slept for 8 hours), and at about 3-4 in the afternoon when blood sugar dips and anxiety can set in. This is something anyone close to the depressed person can ask; a parent, a good friend, an extended family member. They can also do something about it when they get the answer; they can call the person experiencing depression when they are at their lowest during the day. For me, personally, I become most depressed at night when everything gets quiet, and everyone has retired to their respective apartments. Since no one thinks to call at night, I often end up reading in bed and then going to sleep so I do not have to deal with the emotions. I know what causes them, and that is not going to change any time soon. During the day, I am fine because I can always find something to do (but neighbors don’t like you vacuuming at midnight 🙂  )
9. I’m here for you. This is a simple statement that carries no hidden meaning whatsoever. It is simple, and lets the depressed know that you are there, you aren’t going anywhere just because they are depressed, it tells them that you get it, that you understand they are going through a rough time, it says you care. It doesn’t imply that you understand; what it does say though is you care, and that you are there to support them.
10. Nothing. My personal favorite. Sometimes, someone to listen is exactly what the depressed need. They do not need advice, they do not need to hear “this is what you SHOULD do”, what they need is attention and someone to hear them and their pain. From the book Kitchen Table Wisdom : “When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it.” ~ Rachel Naomi Remen.

I wrote this list because I see so many lists about what NOT to say to people who are depressed, mentally ill, etc. that I thought it might be nice to have a list of things that may be helpful to do for or say to someone who’s having a rough time of things.

Yesterday At The Bus Stop

Negative Self-Talk

Yesterday, I was feeling very down when I woke up at 3:45 in the morning. That feeling of depression lingered throughout the morning despite the fact that I had to do something about my hair and makeup as I had to go out into that feared realm: the public. And, I do mean the Public as I have no car and rely on my feet, legs and the bus to get around town. So, there I am at the bus stop waiting for the bus so I could get to my therapist’s office which is some distance from where I live. Fortunately, my abode is centrally located next to the bus stops going North and South as well as the office of my psychiatrist which is a five minute walk across the street (so is the ER, just in case I go mad, well madder than I already am).

There were several people already at the bus stop which was a little unusual for that time of day. It was about 1:30 pm, and the general malaise had yet to lift although it was quietly being joined by mania. There we go off into mixed episode world, again. I swear I never get depressed and I never get manic, I just stay stuck and somehow balanced in the weird middle ground. Anyway, the people at the bus stop were comprised of an older gentleman named Charlie who had an impressive white beard, his wife, Stephanie, and I am assuming her son as they both spoke with accents, and Charlie did not. Charlie was also Caucasian, and I am not sure where Stephanie and her son had come from originally. As it turned out, her son had just been released from the mental hospital where I go for psych appointments and used to be a “frequent flyer” in the locked wards. The man, Charlie, spoke to me right off even though I was lost in 80’s metal land. There was something pretty nasty beneath the bench; I will not speculate on what it might have been. Charlie pointed it out, so I took out my ear buds to respond. 

My Brain Is Bouncing

Stephanie’s son picked up on the fact that I had these little ear buds, and made a point of showing me his head phones which he pointed out were much bigger than mine. As her son and I talked (I cannot for the life of me remember his name), it became clear to me that he was mentally “different” (the term illness has been talked to death over the past week). As it turned out, he suffered from Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Asperger’s (?) Syndrome, was also somewhere on the Autistic spectrum, some features of Borderline Personality, and ADHD, in other words, he had a multitude of mental “differences” that rendered him quite interesting and somewhat difficult to talk to (it helped that I have ADD, and Bipolar disorder that was slowly becoming manic) so I was sort of able to follow his train of thought.

This kid/adult was so excited to have someone to talk to, he could barely contain himself. And, not just someone to talk to, but someone who understood most of what he was thinking. He told me he sees and hears things that he knows are not there but he sees them anyway. I replied that I do not see things that are not real, but I hear things I know are not real. This young man was so hyper, I almost couldn’t take it, and I was becoming manic (and have ADD). I am naturally hyper, but this young guy had me beat. As he was also on the Autistic spectrum and had Asperger’s, he became fairly fixated on two things: his headphones being bigger than mine, and his dislike of his meds which he had apparently been off of for several months. It was obvious. I told him that I take medicine too to help me feel better, but that even when I feel okay, I still take my medicine because that is what is making me feel better. I gently told him that going off your medication just because you feel better is not a good idea, because after a month or two, you will feel worse and you are back to square one and the medicine has to build up in your body to make you feel better again. Charlie quietly agreed with me, and I told him the various anti-psychotics I had tried, and that a combination of Abilify and Seroquel had finally put me in the weird middle ground that is the true nature of manic-depression (you are one and the other at the same time).

I mentioned Zyprexa and Resperdal as being some alternatives if Abilify doesn’t work and Seroquel puts you to sleep which makes it a night time medication. Charlie agreed, and asked the young man if the Abilify had worked. The answer was an emphatic no, it had not worked. I am sure that his mother and stepfather accompany him to his therapy appointments. I suggested that maybe they could see what the doc thinks about trying another atypical anti-psychotic. He had apparently been on Haldol and Thorazine for some time. Which in retrospect explains his complaining that the meds made him sleep. I have taken Haldol, and been prescribed it for aggression (when I get overstimulated, I can get aggressive), and yes, it will calm you right down, but the next thing it does is make you sleepy. Add Thorazine to that, and yes, you will sleep most of the day. 

American Homeless

What was even more curious was the man who came by stating that he knew bus stops were a good place to get spare change. I live on disability. I do not even make minimum wage for a 40 hour week. I have no “spare” change. To me, that’s currency, and I need all of it to get by. Charlie and his wife, Stephanie, replied they had no money and were about to lose their storage if they could not come up with the rent that day. They were homeless, and all of their possessions were in that storage locker. Charlie told the man that he was looking for money to save their stuff.

All of a sudden, my life shifted about 10 paradigms to the right. Here was this family with both parents using walkers and not terribly well themselves, and their mentally “different” son whose mother had cared for all of his life, and I was depressed about what exactly. The fact that my brain is chemically messed up and I have no real control over my feelings be them manic or depressive. I have a place that I can call my own. Granted, it takes more than half my monthly income to pay the rent. But, I have the knowledge that when I am done with my therapy appointment, I do not have to look for a place to sleep. My mother picked me up so I could buy some groceries; more than I could conceivably take on the bus or carry as I often do. What I do not know is where were these folks going to find food. They were truly the faces of the homeless. Not the homeless as our society thinks of the homeless as worthless drunks and addicts that are to be stepped over on the sidewalk or crossing the street when one sees a person coming and they can’t be bothered to say that they have no change, or if one does have change, to give it to the homeless person. Many times they are trying to get enough money to pay for one night in a flea-bag motel so they can sleep in a bed, and take a shower. There are those who have become homeless because of addiction, but there are also those who have become addicts because o
f their homelessness. But these people were clean, clothing intact (probably from a thrift store, but that’s where I shop), hair clean and combed. Even the ever so excited young man was clean with clean clothes, hair brushed. They were clearly not society’s picture of the homeless, but they do represent a good portion of people who have found themselves losing their jobs, then their savings, then their homes. 

Homeless Women and Children

“Oddly” enough, my mood shifted. I no longer felt sorry for myself but rather hope that this family could save their storage locker, and hang onto their stuff for another month. Who knows, they may have been living there. That locker could have been “home” as there are a number of rescue missions that provide showers and other types of personal care. I have a friend whose dad (now deceased, too bad because he was a character) lived in his RV which he parked every night at his storage locker.

It is amazing how a random encounter with three people when you are feeling low and socially stunted can transform your day and your world. I am a practitioner of Nichiren Buddhism and we hold that all people are deserving of compassion,

Buddha

respect and fundamental dignity. We believe that all people no matter what walk of life they may come from all have the heart of the Buddha (we just forgot, and have to find it again), therefore when speaking with people, you try to tap your own inner Buddha so that your heart meets theirs, and a dialogue between Buddhas occurs whether the other party knows it or not. I generally wear my ear buds with my music cranked up loud so I can ignore the over-stimulation that can be public transit, but something about this family really made me tap that inner Buddha. It is not that we had anything truly in common except that both their son and I struggle with mental issues. They just seemed like good people in a bad circumstance, and doing what they could to make the best of it and care for the young man (who is going to need life-long mental care). The bus arrived before any of us realized it. I do not believe in random encounters. I was meant to be on that bus, that day, at that time so I could meet these people so they could help heal me in a small way, and I could help heal them in a small way.

I Am The Dark Side Of The Moon

This is the Sine Wave. When it looks like this with equal frequency and amplitude, everything is ducky. It is like being on a gently rocking ocean.

So, my divorce is official, and has been for about 2 months. You would think I would feel relief at being out of a situation so negative and hurtful that I barely survived at times. I do feel relief that I am not being disrespected and degraded by some one who “claimed” he loved me and that he could handle the Bipolar part; he had dated two other women with Bipolar in the past, and in fact, his most recent breakup was with one of those women, they both walked out on him, not the other way around. I find that interesting. All of his longish term relationships have ended with the woman leaving the relationship. Hmmm. 

At any rate, I am finding that I am slowly almost imperceptibly becoming very depressed. I am still at the point where I can hide from people who do not know me well. I am on a fucking roller coaster. One minute I am crying like I lost the last pet on the earth, the next I am thinking ‘hmmm, the kitchen needs cleaning,’ and no more crying for a while. I know that I am still on the okay side of this mood swing because I still care about what I look like, engage in personal hygiene, that sort of thing. The very fact that I do not out the kitchen off until tomorrow tells me I have not fallen………yet. I may still be on the okay side of this particular piece of the sine wave, but that doesn’t mean I won’t slip off.

I know there are many ways that people with manic-depression have devised for themselves when they feel an episode coming on. Well, that’s all fine and dandy, and hooray for them, but what do you do when it blindsides you and cold-cocks you in the face? What are you supposed to do when you both belong to the same religious organization, and you see each other at community events? How the hell are you supposed to heal from everything he put you through and everything you did to him? It’s not like you can decide to be a Zen Buddhist (I am a Buddhist, as an aside), and go climb a mountain and empty your life of all desires both material and those that are more fleeting, and come back enlightened. I mean, hello, most people have some sort of life including myself as unhappy as it has been for a time now. We don’t have time to climb mountains seeking the “way.”

Besides the only thing I can see coming out of that is a lot more money in the savings account due to one’s lack of desire for earthly things. (Sorry to the Zen Buddhists, no offense meant). Then I stop and think about one of the key concepts of my sect of Buddhism, and that is to make a plan then take action on it. Making a plan is great, but what will it accomplish, what will it get you if you do not take action? Nothing.

So, my ex-husband and I had the mother of all of our fights about first week in June. It was one of those fights where you are yelling but then get quiet because you have become so angry, you are afraid to speak. I sat there and let him yell, and I yelled back, until he said “You’re lucky there are no lethal weapons in this house.” I got quiet real fast and kept my butt glued to the couch because within my immediate sight I could see about 5 lethal objects. The next words out of my mouth were calm and modulated. I stated that I had enough of this discussion, and I was going to bed, and he could do whatever he wanted. 

That night I curled up around my teddy bear (yes, I still have one), and I thought very hard about something I had mentioned before in passing fits of temper: Divorce. This time he had not just crossed the line, he jumped over it like he was an Olympic athlete. You do not threaten people with bodily harm. Especially those of us who have PTSD and a very strong fight mechanism. So, that night at about 3 am, I decided that come hell or high water, I was filing by Friday of that week. And, that’s what I told when he woke up the next day, and that is exactly what I did by that Friday.

I said all of that to say this: one can never be prepared for what is going to come unhinged in your mind that will set you up to break. I had been so unhappy in that marriage for two years, and I honestly thought I had worked through all the emotions. I was so wrong. I have been awful. I have been up for a few days then crashing out of the sky for a few more. I feel like the boy, Icarus, in the Greek legend who flew too close to the sun with wings of wax. I feel like I am hanging on to my sanity by the most light and gossamer of threads. I have become the dark side of the moon.

Blog For Mental Health 2013

I pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Project.  I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others.  By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health.  I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma. 

Blog For Mental Health 2013

A little bit about my own struggle with what I choose to call mental “interestingness” because I refuse to labeled “ill.” I have been clinically diagnosed since I was a child with chronic depression which I struggled largely on my own. My parents were too involved in their own career ambitions and other “dramatic” situations to realize that I was suicidally depressed at the age of 12.

Most of my depression I now attribute to an organic chemical imbalance as well as the situation I lived in. I was bullied in school (starting in grammar school and continuing through high school) for being “different from the other students. For example, I was very bright and curious for my age so my parents had me tested for our school district’s “Gifted” student program which included an IQ test aimed at grade school students. I scored in the 98th percentile which meant that for one hour every day, I went to another class. The kids I went to school with thought that I was stuck-up and above everybody else because I got to leave the regular class. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

In reality, I was profoundly sad because I had no friends, I tried to make myself “small” so nobody would notice me, and I was extremely shy and inhibited. I cried easily which the other students used to my detriment. I cannot remember feeling anything close to happiness until college, and by then, I already had one serious suicide attempt under my belt. I had just convinced the psychiatrist I had been seeing and hating every minute of seeing that I was fine and no longer needed his services. About a week later, I swallowed a bottle of aspirin. Something in me wouldn’t let me go through with it though, and I called my best friend to come and get me. Even at that time, I would not try to get help from my family because by then, I also felt like a huge burden to them because there was clearly something wrong with me. I used to wonder why I couldn’t just be a little more like my younger sister who seemed to float through life. Why did everything for me have be difficult? I still have trouble listening to Metallica’s “Fade to Black” which is about suicide and the soundtrack I chose for my first attempt.

Later that year, I was assaulted by the guy I was seeing at the time. I was 16 and 4 months old. It was in the fall right after the State Fair had finished, so I am guessing October. After that I really couldn’t have cared less about anything least of all myself. I began to hang out with older kids, runaways, hippies, bikers, anyone who might have weed. I managed to keep myself away from the hard drugs until I was about 18. I had also applied for concurrent enrollment at the University here so I could finish my senior year and start my freshman year at the same time. I guess I was what people would call happy during that time, but I think that was an illusion. I spent a lot of my time self-medicating. There is too much to tell about that period of my life without writing a short story. We’ll just say it was a very dysfunctional happiness.

My current therapist of about 10 years think that I had moved beyond chronic depression somewhere in those late teen years. I had “graduated” to full blown Bipolar disorder. However, I was so thoroughly “medicated,” no doctor or counselor picked it up. There was about three or four more suicide attempts between then and the total and complete nuclear meltdown that I experienced in my very early 30’s. That was a depressive episode unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was agoraphobic, having panic attacks, and suffering from acute anxiety. How I made it to the first appointment with my therapist still eludes me. I guess I was determined to figure out what was wrong with me because something was really, really wrong this time. By this time, I had tried suicide about 4 times. was actively trying to drink myself to death, and had been through drug rehab and been arrested twice.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression type I with Psychotic Tendencies at the age of about 31 along with Panic Disorder with and with out Agoraphobia, Generalized Anxiety and ADD. As far as I was concerned life was over. I became a “frequent flyer” at the psych hospital where they tried numerous medications to stabilize my moods. I don’t know what was worse, the moods or the drugs.I was what they call treatment resistant although I was compliant, and did give each and every new medication a go until side effects would force me to stop. I think they finally stabilized me on atypical anti-psychotics, benzodiazepines and Adderall in 2006 when I was nearly 35. I can’t even imagine what mt parents went through. My mom hung in there to the best of her ability, and my father disengaged from me. My mom still hangs in there with me, and I haven’t seen my father for about three years. I have talked to him three times in that time frame. 

Now that I have achieved what I call a “stable” madness, I will talk to people about what it is like to live with these challenges on a daily basis because I have come to view life as a challenge to be overcome not thrown away, I have become a practicing Buddhist, I have not tried to kill myself in 5 years, and I have started a blog detailing what life is like with a primary diagnosis of Bipolar disorder with all of its glorious ups and dismal downs. I have chosen to be minimally medicated so that I can still feel emotion in a relatively normal way, and I have chosen to be completely open about my “interestingness” in the hopes that someone else could possibly see themselves in me, and realize they are not suffering alone nor are they flawed in any way. I have chosen to do so in order to show people that those of us that they consider weird or different are not all that strange at all; we simply experience and perceive the world through a different lens just like everyone else, and that we are not the scary monsters the media turns us into. If I can change the mind of one person about what mental health issues are truly about, then I have made a dent.

 

This Is Actually Tibetan Buddhism, But The Dalai Lama Explains The Main Tenets Well

I am also a Buddhist as well as many other things, and although this explanation is particular to Tibetan Buddhist chant and prayer (I am a believer in the Nichiren sect of Buddhism), The Dalai Lama explains the main precepts of Buddhism quite well. So, I thought I would post it for anyone interested in Buddhism, in general. Buddhism is very peaceful and, for me, calming.

On Spirituality And Mental Health ~ My Perspective

I have been inspired today by several other blog posts I have read to think about the nature of spirituality and it’s healing and restorative properties. While I think it is important for anyone to have some sort of spiritual faith be it Christian, Catholic, Buddhist or Wiccan, I have no prejudices concerning people’s choice of spirituality; whatever works is what you should do.

I happen to follow a sect of Buddhism (there are literally thousands of sects) known as Nichiren Buddhism which emphasizes that you and you alone are the source of the struggle or hurdle that you are facing, and only you can come up with a solution through chanting “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo” which loosely translated means Devotion to the Mystic Law of the Universe and the simultaneity of cause and effect (“Renge” means lotus blossom which seeds and blooms at the same time) through the vibration of sound. It tends to become very meditative if you chant for a while which is not dissimilar to Zen Buddhism that teaches that one must clear one’s mind and life of earthly desires to achieve enlightenment although Nichiren Buddhism does not state that you must give up earthly desires in order to reach enlightenment.

The whole goal of Nichiren Buddhism is to reach a state of “Buddhahood” in which one understands the nature of all things, and is indestructibly happy no matter what gets thrown your way. In fact, if you are practicing correctly and are following the correct path, then obstacles will get in your way to test your faith. Nichiren Buddhism views these trial and tribulations as a means of growing spiritually, and are to be greeted with joy as opposed to sadness or despair. 

Nichiren Buddhism is an inherently humanistic “life philosophy.” It teaches that you practice for yourself and for others (others being the rest of the world), and that everyone regardless of their station in life is worthy, and deserve respect and compassion. When you put these ideas into practice, your environment changes around you. As you become closer to being “enlightened” and you develop a character that cannot be brought down, your reaction to the things that occur just because you are a human become less severe, and more understanding of other people’s inherent rights to be treated with dignity. You become less judgmental, and more accepting of people in general. It is hard to explain. But, it works for me, and about 200 million people practicing in 192 countries. Another idea that is very important and is essential is known as “Dependent Origination.” In other words, we are all interconnected in one way or another with other people and the Universe that nourishes us. It is really hard to explain why this philosophy works for me, but I know I have become happier, more resilient and the episodes of mania and depression have lessened.

It does not matter what faith you follow. It is the act of engaging in spiritual activities on a regular basis is what I believe is important. Being a member of a spiritual group be it Buddhist, Christian, Catholic, Judaic, or Taoist can provide you with a sense of feeling grounded, it also provides social contact, it can provide a social support network (if you feel that you can trust people to not judge you for your struggles); some of my best friends are members of the SGI (Soka Gakkai International ~ means “Value Creating”.)

People of faith tend to be supportive of one another, and if they practice true to the values of their chosen faith, they are respectful and compassionate towards all people. The only real difference between the “People of the Book” and Buddhism is that Buddhists are taught to follow the teachings not the teacher, and that Buddhahood is within you, you just have to find it, whereas the “People of the Book” have an external sense of the divine. Buddhism is all you, your causes and your effects, your obstacles and your method of overcoming them, and Christians have God and Jesus’ teachings to follow, but believe in an external higher being. In Buddhism, you are the “higher power,” you just have to find it. No matter what works for you, I have found that many people with mental issues who are also deeply spiritual seem to have better outcomes, and a more positive way of managing whatever their life or their mental issue throws their way.

Buddhism is part of my three pronged attack on my mental health problems: Buddhist practice, a psychiatrist who is extremely good with medication and is not heavy handed with it, and a therapist who has become a lifeline. These three things keep me relatively sane. They also keep others around me relatively sane as well.

So, I highly recommend that people who suffer with mental issues find a spiritual belief system that works for them. It will keep you grounded, enable you to weather the storms when they happen, provide social contact, and provide a network of people you trust to help support you when things aren’t quite kosher. But, that is only my experience and perspective. It is not written in stone or any medical journal that I know of 🙂

Inner Peace Award

Inner Peace Award From “Grow your Innerself”  First, of all thank you for giving  the award to everyone. People need inner peace to live harmoniously with each other and the planet. I would like to thank you for a blog that constantly reminds me to try to be a better person than I was the day before.

Okay, Now I Am Going To Get Buddhist ~ Life Is Too Short To Be Miserable

What Do You Think Of Bullies?

Okay, Now The Gun Control Argument

Sandy Hook Lighthouse (Photo credit: Vicki’s Pics)

 

Okay, do not get me wrong. I am an American, but do we honestly need 300,000 legal and illegal handguns, assault riffles and 100 capacity magazines floating around our country? I am not Pro or Con 2nd amendment, but I do think that we have to look at the Amendment in the context that it was initially framed. We were a brand new nation having won our independence from England through a bloody revolution. We were afraid of government at the time. And, rightly so. But what does the 2nd amendment really give us the right to bear in terms of arms: it confers upon an individual citizen to own a musket, not a Tech 9, or an AK-47 with a 100 bullet clip. Do you really think that the Sandy Hook massacre would have been nearly as dumbfounding and deadly had the gunman had to reload his weapon? The average law enforcement personnel can reload their clip in about 2 seconds, the average gun owning citizen about 4 seconds. In 4 seconds, someone could have taken him out assuming that he had to reload.

 

What really freaked me out was the increase in gun sales, especially assault type weapons, automatic weapons, and high round clips that occurred after the Sandy Hook massacre. I saw one gun shop that had customers 5 or 6 deep at the counter. People just DO NOT need clips that hold enough rounds to take out a small army. If you cannot hit your target, moving or not, with one or two shots, maybe you shouldn’t own a gun. If you have to make mincemeat out of someone, maybe you should look into anger management classes.

 

If you look at the world numbers for death by gun shot wounds, the United States leads all of the industrialized nations by thousands of deaths per year. We have approximately 10 people dying every 8 hours due to gun violence. This does not include mass shootings. These are our kids that are dying. If 10 people on average are dying very 8 hours that means that 30 people die every day from gun violence. Multiply that by 365 days per year, and you have about 11,000 people per year. This is simply unacceptable. If you just absolutely have to kill someone that you have a beef with, stab them, beat them to death; do not stand 20 or 100 feet away and shoot them. You do not have to get yours “hands dirty” to shoot someone, it does not require any amount of courage to shoot someone, rather it is an act of absolute cowardice; you do have to get personal any other way.

 

NRA President LaPierre states that the only way to deal with a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. Is there really a difference? Honestly, something has got to give. And we cannot just drop this issue just because Sandy Hook is a month past. These were 6 year olds; they will never fall in love, they will not graduate high school, they will not attend prom, they will not attend college, it is a loss of 20 potential doctors, lawyers, social workers, reformers. It is a loss of 20 members of the future generation. These kids that are dying are the future, and we have an obligation as a society to make sure they have the opportunity to become what they may, and provide a safe environment to do so.